To Know Him Is To Love Him
I sure do miss my dad! It's been over a week now and the time has been filled with busy work. I'm still in Nebraska helping my mom with phone calls, paperwork, etc. David headed back home on Saturday and the kids and I will be here until this coming Saturday. Mom will be coming home with us for a few days before we come back up north for Thanksgiving.
This may be a long post, but just wanted to share what the last month or so has been like and who my dad is! My dad had heart surgery on September 22, 2009. It wasn't his first bout with heart issues, but it was his last. Actually, the heart surgery (to repair a leaky valve) went well. Unfortunately, dad has had lung issues over the past 18 month or so and his lungs never recovered from the trauma of the surgery. He decided to give the surgery a shot since the doctors said if he didn't, he'd probably only have about 6 months or so of deteriorating health (it had been declining for about the past year or so).
He definitely had his good days after the surgery (at least good to us). Although he was on a ventilator for quite a bit of the time, he seemed to be making little baby steps. I was here for about a week after his surgery and when I left, he was on an up note. Unfortunately, immediately after I left, his recovery slid back. He had his good days and down days. I talked to my mom (who stayed by his side for a minimum of 12-13 hours every day) at least 2-3 times a day. On October 20th, the doctors felt he had made good enough progress to go to a rehab center. We were elated, we thought there would be a good chance that he would be home by Thanksgiving.
I had planned to fly up on my own on October 21st to see him. When I first got there, he was still very agitated that he was using a ventilator and he couldn't feel that he was any better. He looked a lot better, but he couldn't believe that when I told him that. The first 2 days I was there were very rough. He didn't want to try to get better. He finally relented to give it a month. He made it clear a long time ago to all family members that he didn't want to be like he currently was. He was upset as we felt that mom had made decisions to 'prolong his life' and really all decisions made were to assist in his recovery. He was feeling better and we played cards the day I left (Monday, October 26).
After I left, things went down hill. He had been using a machine to help his flow of air and that machine broke down and they didn't get the part required to fix it for almost 48 hours. Then, my dad got some type of infection. I think those 2 things were the straw that broke the camel's back. My brother called on Thursday (October 29) and said that Dad woke up that morning and said "I'm done. Get this stuff out." He was very clear and at that point, we knew what would be coming next.
I hurriedly got things ready and the kids and I flew up to Nebraska and I arrived to the rehab facility around midnight. Right before I came in, he again made it clear that he wanted everything out. I felt very blessed to get there and tell him that I loved him. He responded back and I felt very confident that he knew I was there.
That was the last time he said anything coherent. I whispered in his ear quite a bit of the night letting him know how privileged I had been to be his little girl and he was a great father. I also told him that although I knew that he didn't need my permission that it was OK to go and that I would miss him dearly.
Around 9:30 Friday morning (October 30th) as I was holding my dad's hand and rubbing his arm, I noticed that his chest wasn't moving up and down any longer. I felt for his pulse and I felt a very weak pulse for about 30 seconds. We called the nurse and she confirmed what we already knew.
I was thankful to be there with him and to be there for my mom. You are never ready for your parent to die even though you know at some point in time that it will happen.
I know I said this post was to get to know him. I'll do that in another post. I just wanted to share the last few weeks of Dad's life. Hopefully this makes some sense. Thanks for letting me share some of my dad with you.
This may be a long post, but just wanted to share what the last month or so has been like and who my dad is! My dad had heart surgery on September 22, 2009. It wasn't his first bout with heart issues, but it was his last. Actually, the heart surgery (to repair a leaky valve) went well. Unfortunately, dad has had lung issues over the past 18 month or so and his lungs never recovered from the trauma of the surgery. He decided to give the surgery a shot since the doctors said if he didn't, he'd probably only have about 6 months or so of deteriorating health (it had been declining for about the past year or so).
He definitely had his good days after the surgery (at least good to us). Although he was on a ventilator for quite a bit of the time, he seemed to be making little baby steps. I was here for about a week after his surgery and when I left, he was on an up note. Unfortunately, immediately after I left, his recovery slid back. He had his good days and down days. I talked to my mom (who stayed by his side for a minimum of 12-13 hours every day) at least 2-3 times a day. On October 20th, the doctors felt he had made good enough progress to go to a rehab center. We were elated, we thought there would be a good chance that he would be home by Thanksgiving.
I had planned to fly up on my own on October 21st to see him. When I first got there, he was still very agitated that he was using a ventilator and he couldn't feel that he was any better. He looked a lot better, but he couldn't believe that when I told him that. The first 2 days I was there were very rough. He didn't want to try to get better. He finally relented to give it a month. He made it clear a long time ago to all family members that he didn't want to be like he currently was. He was upset as we felt that mom had made decisions to 'prolong his life' and really all decisions made were to assist in his recovery. He was feeling better and we played cards the day I left (Monday, October 26).
After I left, things went down hill. He had been using a machine to help his flow of air and that machine broke down and they didn't get the part required to fix it for almost 48 hours. Then, my dad got some type of infection. I think those 2 things were the straw that broke the camel's back. My brother called on Thursday (October 29) and said that Dad woke up that morning and said "I'm done. Get this stuff out." He was very clear and at that point, we knew what would be coming next.
I hurriedly got things ready and the kids and I flew up to Nebraska and I arrived to the rehab facility around midnight. Right before I came in, he again made it clear that he wanted everything out. I felt very blessed to get there and tell him that I loved him. He responded back and I felt very confident that he knew I was there.
That was the last time he said anything coherent. I whispered in his ear quite a bit of the night letting him know how privileged I had been to be his little girl and he was a great father. I also told him that although I knew that he didn't need my permission that it was OK to go and that I would miss him dearly.
Around 9:30 Friday morning (October 30th) as I was holding my dad's hand and rubbing his arm, I noticed that his chest wasn't moving up and down any longer. I felt for his pulse and I felt a very weak pulse for about 30 seconds. We called the nurse and she confirmed what we already knew.
I was thankful to be there with him and to be there for my mom. You are never ready for your parent to die even though you know at some point in time that it will happen.
I know I said this post was to get to know him. I'll do that in another post. I just wanted to share the last few weeks of Dad's life. Hopefully this makes some sense. Thanks for letting me share some of my dad with you.
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